This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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