where am i from again
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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