I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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