I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
