Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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