I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
