If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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