just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
