I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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