I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
as a side note pls kill me
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