Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
