no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
