Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
