I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
