we have officially lost it.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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