Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
