I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
My dick has a subreddit
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
