have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
