from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
