butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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