i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
