Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
True college students do jello shots in the library
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