I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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