I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
