Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
