woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
