And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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