After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
