I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
