oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Never joke about your clitoris.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
