im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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