is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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