Ambien. No doubt about it.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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