You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
