I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
we should paint friendship bongs
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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