That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
