HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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