That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Randomize
