Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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