Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize
