I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
