I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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