Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
There's always time for handjobs
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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