Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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