just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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