the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
