For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
