I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
