Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Randomize
