Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
