Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
